dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
