the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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