theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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