No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
