i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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