Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
