Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
