There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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