There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
