im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
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