i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
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