omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
