Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
