is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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