So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
