Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
