Dual....:-)
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
