I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
