i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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