hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We got so high we made milksteak
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
