that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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