I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
