White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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