so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
