I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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