Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
