what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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