just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
