Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
