yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
