saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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