3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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