I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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