I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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