As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
