just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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