I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
