why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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