I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
