btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
