come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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