Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
