Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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