Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
