i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
