dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
