Non-Jews are for practice
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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