Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
we're making bets on your personal life
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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