I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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