Moan for me like Helen Keller
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
